Bienseance de la Conversation entre les Hommes

First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen, he was second to none in humble and enduring scenes of private life. Pious, just, humane, temperate, and sincere; uniform, dignified, and commanding; his example was as edifying to all around him as were the effects of that example lasting...Correct throughout, vice shuddered in his presence and virtue always felt his fostering hand. The purity of his private character gave effulgence to his public virtues...Such was the man for whom our nation mourns.

-Henry Lee III, on George Washington

George Washington was a man of impeccable manners and civility. Historians have long attributed Washington's humble decency to a school exercise he was required to complete before his sixteenth birthday: copying 110 maxims for proper behavior.

Many of the maxims have been traced to a sixteenth century work by French Jesuits, entitled, Bienseance de la Conversation entre les Hommes (Decency of Conversation among Men). Written at the College of La Fleche in western France, a copy of the book is believed to have wound up in the hands of  young Washington by the return of a half-brother from studying in Europe.

Washington, the American Cincinnatus, famously retired from the Presidency in order to return to his quiet life as a farmer. Many, though, wanted to establish him as monarch. Yet in spite of his political accomplishments, Washington was a man of personal conviction -- a true American gentleman. And much thanks, I'm sure, can be given to those formative maxims. It would do well to learn a few of them yourself. Here are some of my favorites:

1. Shift not yourself in the sight of others nor gnaw your nails.
2. Do not puff up the cheeks; loll not out the tongue, rub the hands or beard, thrust out the lips or bite them, or keep the lips too open or too close.
3. Let your countenance be pleasant but in serious matters somewhat grave.
4. If anyone comes to speak to you while you are sitting, stand up though he be your inferior...
5. Let your discourse with men of business be short and comprehensive
6. In speaking to men of quality do not lean nor look them full in the face, nor approach too near them. At least keep a full pace between them.
7. Strive not with your superiors in argument, but always submit your judgment to others with modesty.
8. When a man does all he can though it succeeds not well blame him not that did it.
9. In your apparel be modest and endeavor to accommodate nature, rather than to procure admiration. Keep to the fashion of your equals, such as are civil and orderly with respect to times and places.
10. Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company.